On Leading Well

Author: Ken

  • What Is Coaching, Anyway?

    The recent surge in the personal coaching profession indicates that people today are hungry for answers. What drives someone to pay anywhere from $250 to $1200 (or more) per month for a weekly 45 minute phone call?

    I believe it’s partly due to our innate, God-given desire to grow, improve, and succeed.

    During the past week I’ve spent time in two Athens – one in Greece and one in Ohio. Conversations with friends who invest most of their time with college students gravitated to the issue of life-change. Today’s students are overwhelmed with choices, data, and information. As a result their filters are high – most won’t even answer their cell phone if caller-id doesn’t show someone they know.

    Contemporary educational theory purports that if students are given more information they will make better, more responsible (can we say moral?) choices. But the evidence doesn’t bear that out. Studies reveal (see Made To Stick) that more choices typically lead to analysis paralysis. Maybe that explains the 3.5 hours per day that the average guy spends gaming or surfing.

    People today want coaches because they want to know how to live better.

    What does a good coach do? In sports, good coaches teach the fundamentals, observe performance, offer affirmation and correction, inspire with an arm around the shoulder or a well-placed kick in the rear, and work with a player to chart a course for the future. The best coaches find a way to extract an individual’s dreams and keep them in view.

    Smells a lot like life-on-life discipleship to me. When Jesus said “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” he wasn’t just talking about theory or religious ideas. He meant “I am the way to live – do it this way.”

    Each of us needs a few friends to help us sift through the mountains of information we’re inundated with each day and convert that into knowledge leading to wisdom. Wisdom is simply knowledge applied well. Wisdom, like a good coach, offers teaching, reproof, correction, and training in good living.

  • Four Powerful Words

    OK, now that we’ve explored the implications of digital screens, I want to reflect on some profound analog concepts. Freedom, liberty, personal responsibility, sacrifice, loyalty, honor and unity come to mind.

    Last week our family used spring break to visit Washington D.C., our nation’s capitol. During our decade overseas, we visited many of the great seats of government throughout Asia and Europe, but we’d never seen the home court. Wow!

    If you ever want a dazzling multimedia experience, I suggest standing in the cavernous memorial to Abraham Lincoln among a silent crowd and slowly digesting the words of Abe’s Gettysburg Address and his Second Inaugural Address. You can read them online, or you can read them under the massive statue, covered by the roof with the names of the States of the preserved union, looking down at the Capital across the reflecting pool, the Washington Monument, and two full miles of the West Mall. In contrast, the Korean War Veterans Memorial only highlights four words: Freedom Is Not Free. It will take your breath away as you gratitude wells up from a deep place inside. Ditto the WWII and Vietnam Memorials. This is hallowed ground.

    The sense of respect and honor grows as we visit Arlington Cemetery (310,000 servicemen and women are buried there, marked with a simple white cross), the tomb of the Unknown Soldier (inscription: “Here rests in honored glory an American Soldier known but to God”) and the JFK eternal flame. And so my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. Fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what we together can do for the freedom of man.

    As we moved from place to place, from museum to museum, and out into the colorful parkways lined with pink and white cherry blossoms in full bloom, the deafening drumbeats of ceaseless scoffing and endless criticism of the United States by the media somehow faded away. Live blues flowing from the Cherry Blossom festival certainly contributed. I could picture George Washington and a few close friends sitting on the back porch of his Mount Vernon estate, overlooking the Potomac River, dreaming of a country that would be so radically different from the despotic self-serving governments the world had known to date. I found myself believing that George’s personal assessment of the United States still rings true today:

    That the Government, though not absolutely perfect, is one of the best in the world, I have little doubt. – George Washington

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  • Communication: “Where’s My Screen?”

    “Where’s my screen?” blurted the middle-aged woman next to me while we waited for the Indiana Jones show to begin at Disney World. Her rummaging instantly produced a sleek iPhone. We still had 10 more minutes to blow, why not get a little bit of work done while waiting?

    Over-35’s value smartphones as a means to greater effectiveness, efficiency and tech-cool. But many blogs I read, especially in ministry, continue to insist that an email inbox will always be the way to get real work done.

    But what does this generation of Screenagers think? Did you know that email was last on the list of 8 preferred methods of communication – after DVDs and books?

    “What Are Your Preferred Methods of Communication?”

    Dr. Tim Elmore of http://www.growingleaders.com/ asked recent focus group of 16-24 year olds this question. This group’s top eight methods of communication are:

    1. Text messaging
    2. Internet (i.e. MySpace or Facebook)
    3. iPods and Podcasts
    4. Instant messaging
    5. Cell phone (actually speaking with someone)
    6. DVD / CD
    7. Books
    8. Email

    Dr. Elmore continues:* “I want you to notice a few things about this list. First, note that email is last on the list. One student described email as “a way to communicate with older people.” Second, with one exception, this list moves from more personal to less personal in nature. They want something customized not generic if they’re going to pay attention. Third, and most importantly, these students prefer a “screen” for six out of their top eight favorite methods of communication.

    The Screen Age
    Every generation shares common characteristics. However, each generation is defined by some shared elements in their developmental years. The primary elements that define a generation are:
    1. Shared Music
    2. Shared Experiences
    3. Shared Crises
    4. Shared Television Programs
    5. Shared Celebrities (people of influence)
    6. Shared Age and Era

    Today, the delivery of almost every one of these elements share one thing in common–they are driven by a screen. Call me the master of the obvious, but students want to interact with a screen. In fact, we’ve begun to call students “screenagers” because they are more at home in front of a screen than watching a talking head on a stage. They want a personal message, but want to control how intimate and vulnerable they become. They like the option of signing off when they wish.

    The fact that text messaging landed at number one on the list tells us a lot about students today. Bear with me as I venture some observations about why text messages are the preferred method of communication:

    1. Text messages represent very current communication.
    More so than voicemails, a text means I need to interact now about something relevant to you.

    2. Text messages are generally sent from someone you know.
    Unlike phones, you generally don’t get a “wrong number” or generic call on a text message.

    3. Text messages are brief and to the point. [Unlike this lengthy blog post :-)]
    The person texting doesn’t waste words; in fact, they usually abbreviate the message.

    4. Text messaging is in your control.
    The receiver can stop when they want to.

    This kind of control is attractive to students today. They want communication on their terms. Students today are inundated with messages, from every side. I believe they’re most likely to respond to a text message because it allows them fast, current, relevant communication with friends–but at a safe distance. They like intimacy without a lot of vulnerability. It sounds like a paradox and perhaps it is. I believe this is but one of several paradoxes that exist among Generation Y. Consider this. This is the first generation who does not need authorities to access information. Why? They have screens. However, they do need authorities, like you and I, to help them process that information. We can interpret it for them. This is our challenge.”

    *Normally I would link to a post of this length, but I received this information by email and can’t locate it on Elmore’s site.

    Leadership challenge: What communication methods do I need to develop in order to connect – life-on-life – with this generation?

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